Mom's Corner

Motherhood— Nature’s calling? Or straight up Nature?!

I see a crack of light and the silhouette it creates accentuating the beautiful gift God has provided me with– my oldest daughter… who creepily whispers my name early in the morning as she stands motionless in my doorway. OH. MY. GOSH. Why?! That’s right–school… and it’s picture day. That crack of light capturing her silhouette was my eyelids refusing to open as they were reacting to the bright light my daughter turned on.

I cross the rocky terrain that is my living room to reach my destination. The end is in sight (or the beginning, really, for that matter) and I can almost reach the coffee pot… I make it! But not unscathed by my surroundings as I stepped on a giant LEGO aka “breakfast” that my toddler “made” for me and put ever-so-sweetly in a bowl in my path to the kitchen.

I close my eyes for a [milli]second and listen to my surroundings. I take in the [not so] faint calls of the wild. The monkey’s howl, the lion’s roar, the cow’s moo, the cat’s meow, the sheep’s baaa, the frog’s “bibbit”, and the toddler’s cry! I hear the sounds of an endless flowing river that is Bubble Guppies and Paw Patrol babbling in the background… and I mean never ending and unfortunately somewhat catchy.

The coffee hits me at the same time as my hangry child’s stomach decides to scavenge for a ‘nack. So I plot my escape to the bathroom with a decoy of distraction with piranhas goldfish in a cup over by the couch and I make a break for it! But I am not fast enough. The toddler catches up with me as I’m trying to close the bathroom door and in fear of frightening the toddler and hurting her fingers I give in. She sits there feeding me piranhas goldfish as I do my business –she doesn’t take her eyes off of me.

My nose senses something’s gone awry and knows it’s time to capture the toddler and put her in a new net that catches her waste that is the diaper. But she knows what’s up. So I make my way into her room, grab my tools to clean a bottom and I see her. She lurks around the corner thinking I can’t see what she’s up to. So I back up out of her line of sight and I wait silently. I hear her steps as she creeps closer and out I pop with a playful roar and I tickle her to the ground. It’s all fun and games until she crocodile rolls away with remnants of poo on her rump. Not today, tiny human! Not today.

She’s fought long and hard and is ready to give in. But not before she pulls on my pant legs, plays with her food, pulls her sissy’s hair, fights with the floor, cries out for “douche“–which I translate as juice, colors on sissy’s homework, eats her prey dinner, gives me kisses, and says “nigh-night“.

Finally. Time for myself. I sit, close my eyes, and listen. No more roars, “bibbits”, or cries. No more rough, LEGO-breakfast terrain to trench through. No more secret passwords I mean…terrible, new-age math homework. No more toddler-chaperoned trips to the bathroom. No more hugs. No more “I love you mom“s. No more bodies in my arms to snuggle.

The day is done. My heart is full. And even with the chaos-clad days I have I still want to wake those sleeping beasts for just another kiss.

But I know what awaits tomorrow so for now I’ll take my rest.

So as the light closes on the horizon that are my eyelids– I sleep.

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Mom's Corner · Uncategorized

Planning and Parenting- What a book won’t tell you

Alright. Since I’ve already crowned myself The World’s Okayest Mom— we all know I didn’t plan a whole lot prior to my oldest joining my life journey. I tried a liiiiiitle harder with my second, but knew there wasn’t much more out there that’s changed in the six years since I had previously given birth. One of those things being my personality. If you want to know what real motherhood is like, ditch the books and follow a mom blogContinue reading “Planning and Parenting- What a book won’t tell you”

Mom's Corner

Mom failing: Tooth Fairy, Santa, Easter Bunny- What NOT to do.

So you know Santa? How about the Easter Bunny?… Tooth Fairy?

I think my oldest does, too… Or she thinks she does. So I’m going to write this in the order of the ones she still believes in, to the one she now [unfortunately] knows the truth about, and what I did wrong.

[Not so] Pro Parenting Tip: Remember the lost tooth. (I know, silly right?)

The one I’m currently struggling with is the Tooth Fairy. She’s at that age where she’s looking more like a hockey player than my sweet girl. She lost her first tooth over a year ago when she was away from home so I didn’t have to deal with it then, but the first tooth she lost with me was when we were on vacation.

Mom, how is the Tooth Fairy going to come if she doesn’t know where I’m at?!

Good point, kid. We’ll save it away and tuck it under your pillow when we get back home. Long story short, the tooth never made it under the pillow and she ended up losing another one before that one was remembered and she was mad that she was jipped. Found the tooth in our luggage months later, put it under her pillow, she got a dollar.

I’m not so sure she really cares about that one because it’s money, but she hasn’t said she knows its me— yet.

[Not so] Pro Parenting Tip #2: When they get older, keep it simple…

Do NOT go overboard. I know its totally not the time of year, but Christmas only six months away. This year is halfway over! Here’s my next mistake.

So I thought I was being this super proactive, awesome, mom by taking a picture of my living room on Christmas Eve and “photo shopping” Santa in there (it looked legit!), and doing that PNP (Portable North Pole) App where Santa talks to your child through a customized video for your kid (that app is awesome!), and by taking her to see Santa at the mall. Exceeeppppt she’s seven, and she’s picking up on small things like “That Santa’s beard isn’t real“, or “That Santa was fatter than the other Santa” and my favorite “Why are there so many different Santa’s and who was it that came into our house on Christmas eve!?

Yeah, explaining that Santa is only one person and that he has soooo many helpers around the world to help him do his job was a hard one to explain. He’s magical, he’s everywhere, he’s always watching. But even Santa needs help.

If you’re going to use anything and they’re a little older.. use the PNP app. You can make multiple videos ranging from Santa calling to make sure they’re behaving or to tell them they’re doing awesome, to having Santa tell them what they need to work on to remain on the nice list, to a video on Christmas Eve. When Santa told her she needed to work on her attitude the horror on her face was so real.. SO for now this belief is still alive and [barely] thriving.

Mom FAIL. I did too much!

[Not so] Pro Parenting Tip #3: The Easter Bunny might not seem like a BIG deal, but he is.

To be honest, I don’t even really remember exactly what she said but it was along the nature of “I know the Easter Bunny isn’t real“… But I do remember saying “You’re right… Mommies and Daddies help make Easter fun, we buy [the things], and we do [the stuff] to make things fun for our babies” (or something close to that).

Instant regret crept it’s way into my heart as her face sank. She sat on the couch and tried to silently cry. My brain started pinging…

But she just said she knew!“, “WHY did I say that??“, “Can I retract my statement??

How do I fix this?

She wanted to believe, she really did. She wasn’t asking for the truth she was seeking confirmation that he was real. So I held her, and being that in my household we believe in God, I told her what Easter is really about. (Of course before I calmly explained that to her, I frantically texted my dad asking what do I do?!). I was sad that I just bursted her bubble. I know they’ll all figure it out one day, and I really thought she had… for the Easter Bunny, anyway.

So if you have an inkling that your kid still believes or wants to believe, don’t do what I did.

I learned this from an old co-worker of mine and our new motto in the house is “If you believe, you will receive“.

I don’t care how old they are.

 

cheers!
ashley

 

#coffeemom