What cannot be said will be wept.
This comes with grief.
Over the last week two people I know have had some sort of loss in their lives. Whether it was someone they love or someone they worked with. Neither one, will you ever be ready for. You never know how it will affect you until it happens to you.
And the heartbreaking reality is- it will happen to you at some point in your life.
The loss I learned of this morning is weighing heavy on my heart. It’s not my loss to grieve, yet I grieve anyway. It was the loss of a child. A child they had the chance to meet, but will never get to know. I hugged my youngest a little longer this morning. Thankful that I am able to hold her and watch her grow and play. I also called my oldest first thing to say good morning and let her know how much I love her. (She’s away on an adventure for the next 9 days).
And I wept.
The loss I learned of a few days ago affected my mother. She doesn’t need to work but she does. She finds joy in working with and helping others (I get my soft, extremely emotional, empathetic heart from her). She lost a coworker. Someone who made her laugh and who would light up any room he walked into. My heart hurts for her, his family and her company’s loss. And you know what?
A loss isn’t always the passing of someone. Its also letting go of toxic people in your life. People that you love dearly but know that its better to love them from a distance than letting them do harm to you or watching them consistently do harm to themselves and others around them.
A loss is divorce. Its having a falling out with someone. Its miscarrying a life you were hoping to celebrate. Its one day hanging up the phone with someone you called a best friend and then never hearing their voice again- by choice. Its losing yourself trying to become someone you’re not for someone who doesn’t accept you for who you are. Losing yourself is also a loss.
All these scenarios (and these are just a few examples) are considered losses to all people in all different walks of life.
Now the pain that’s accompanied with all these examples varies on who you talk to. It varies on what that individual felt during that time, and probably still does. We are not the ones who get to judge whose pain is worse or whose loss was greater.
We can all weep for our losses.
Sometimes we hit a wall with words and don’t know what to say. I am someone who has a way with words yet still, when it comes to comforting a grieving loved one, even I am sometimes at a loss for them.
Whether you don’t have the words, or don’t wish to speak them- its okay just to weep.