Okay, so I could start this off with affirmations. “Tell yourself this” or “Tell yourself that”–and say it out loud!
But I won’t. Because that doesn’t work for everybody.
Me in particular. But I will say, even on my absolute worst days. I am still happy (or at the very least I appear to be). Here’s how I do it so that you can, too:
I let shit go (most of it anyway)
Kind of like when you go number two. You don’t reflect back on it. You let it out, and you let it go. Its toxic waste that you don’t need in your body or your mind. I get mad, I get irritated, I get frustrated, and boy do I get annoyed— but I never hold onto it. Especially when it comes to the people in my life. Life is way to short to stay angry with someone. So take that anger, the animosity, the grudge, the jealousy… and flush that shit down the toilet. You don’t need it!
My glass is half full
I can take any situation and find the positive in it. My oldest is the same way and I love that so much about her. If you have hit rock bottom, there is a way out. You can only go up from there. Ask me. If I don’t know how or why something has happened to you (or me) I will–one way or another–figure out a way to help or make things better or help you come to a conclusion. Yes, I do this with myself too. I am an over thinker so I have to talk myself off of ledges alllll the time, and most of the time I end up finding a happy resolution… because I need it. Not everyone is going to give it to me.
I compliment people
Be kind. I try not to let anyone who leaves my presence leave feeling as low as they had initially appeared to me. I like to refurbish them. I do my best to shove a little sunshine into people’s lives. If I like something about someone, I say it. “I like your face” goes a long way. Try it. They may laugh and say “Thanks” or they may walk away a little perplexed at what the heck you just said to them, but I promise it will leave a lasting impression and they’ll think about that odd compliment until they pass out for bed.
Okay, story time! So I have a kid (two actually, but this one in particular), and kids kind of just say whats on their minds. No filter. Well we were at Walmart (and if you have heard of the People of Walmart you know where I’m going with this), and she was staring at this older lady behind us in the checkout line–she was morbidly obese–and she wouldn’t stop staring. So praying to God she doesn’t open her mouth and just say something embarrassing (like kids usually do) I whispered “Its not very polite to stare at people.” And as my “judgy” self is watching her mouth open up, still making eye contact with that woman, and I’m hoping a hole in this floor will open up and eat me alive because I swear she’s about to say something embarrassing–she opens her mouth to speak and says “I really like your shirt and your matching necklace“.
Wait, what?? She was four at the time. Four!
Now I know I said I compliment people, and in this case, it appears I had judged before I could say anything nice about this woman, but if you have kids you have to be prepared for them to speak the obvious… and that’s where I thought this was going. Moving on.
I understand and overcome
I know that when people lash out, its not always personal. An angry customer on the phone may want to swear up and down about something they’re not happy about, but its not my fault. They’re angry at the product, not at me. Someone may be at rock bottom, and even though you may approach them with ease and the intention of being polite they may want nothing to do with it… and will show it. Everyone fights different battles. Its not your place to judge whether or not your battle is worse. Their day is not your day. Their life is not your life. Understand that its not personal. People just need to find an outlet and whether or not you’re the problem, you may be their target. Smile, and move along. Do not hold onto it. I also understand that my life is not, and will never be, perfect. If I expect it to be, and its not… that’s me letting myself down. The same goes for you. All the chaos that is, has, and is yet to come is what shapes your character. Understanding how to handle and manage it will help you get through and overcome it.
and last but far from the least
I smile all the time
Even when I’m on the phone. They may not see it but the recipient is able to hear it in your voice. I promise. I don’t know how many times I have heard “It was a pleasure speaking with you” or “Thank you for brightening my day“. And its because I have every intent on making even hard conversations, tolerable. There may be days where I’m at work crying over some battle with myself in my head, then the phone rings, or my manager calls me over, and I brush it off and smile. 95% of the time most people wouldn’t know I have the struggles that I have had in my life because of a simple smile. And really, its none of their business anyway.
So that’s it.
Five easy ways to have a happier lifestyle. Kindness is free, people. Be gentler with others and be easy on yourself.
Trust me– I’m not this big ball of sunshine at all times. I just don’t carry my baggage with me wherever I go. My lucky husband gets to deal with my gray skies once in a while. 😉